Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
