how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
