Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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