I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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