What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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