if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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