It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
