PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
