So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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