I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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