if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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