It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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