kristin has been a bad kristin
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
