Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Your cock deserves a montage
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
