you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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