You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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