i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Success! We fucked roommates!
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