how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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