You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
