but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
