Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
