He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize