I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize