I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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