Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
