I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
