He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sorry about my life...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
