My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
