i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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