She announced her abortion via fbk
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
