I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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