i don't like sucking hair
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
