I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
That accounts for only three of the penises
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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