If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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