I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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