As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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