My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
