Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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