I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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