so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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