the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
