is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Send help, water and tortillas.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
