I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
