The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i dont even know how to be here
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize