I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
