I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
