The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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