just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
