They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize