Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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