God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You've changed since you got that strap on
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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