Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
