I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
They took my balls.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
