I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
