sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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