in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Where did you get a picture of my penis
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize