my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It was confusing and full of hummus
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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