My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
