This is not my ceiling
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
