Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
