sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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